Dear my current self,
Firstly, it was not your fault and he was 100% to blame for what happened. Stop blaming yourself for trusting him, you had a right to trust him. Secondly, remember that you are very strong. You have got through previous traumas with the help of therapy, and no matter how hard it has been you have battled bipolar disorder. You can get through the aftermath of rape and get your life back. You will be more confident again, be happy and alive again. The days are already much better in general but just keep on going even when sometimes something knocks you back and you despair that you will never be okay again. You will be okay again.