Shared Stories

I said NO to him very clearly

By an anonymous contributor

I’m not even sure my story is worth telling because when I read everyone else’s story I see how different mine is. I haven’t been raped or anything like that. I wasn’t forced to touch him in any way but he touched me pretty much everywhere without me wanting it. I said NO to him very clearly, I said I didn’t want it and that he had to stop. But he didn’t. I just wanted to get to know him but well it didn’t go as planned. I invited him because I already knew him and I trusted him. It was the worst idea ever. I told a friend that I invited him and she told me to text her it was okay or not. First it was okay right like he was normal he didn’t do anything weird. But then when I couldn’t text her back that it wasn’t okay it went bad. He started kissing me, touching me everywhere and I was afraid to not let him do it because what if he didn’t leave my place? What if he sensed something was wrong and didn’t want to leave me alone? So I played along but from the start I tried to say where my boundaries were and I said NO because I felt so bad. Eventually he left only like after 2 hours. When he left I was so relieved. He left and I just started crying and I didn’t know what just happened. Did I got sexually assaulted? Or is this not even called like that? I told a guy friend and he was there for me. My friend came to me the next day and I just started crying because everything reminded me of the attacker. He listened to me and he comforted me. I already had been through some rough relationships and it was already hard trusting people but this changed me even more. I still have trouble trusting men. I think every man is just the same. I’m even more afraid of commitment than I already was before. Also it turns out that this friend of me really didn’t care about me at all either so this makes me lose hope in finding a good guy.

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