I’ve become used to saying the word rape. I’m close to being able to drop it into everyday conversation. I’ve come a long way.
A term I am not comfortable with is ‘my’ rapists. Or ‘my’ attackers. They are rapists. They chose to rape me. They don’t deserve to ever lose that label.
But they are not mine.
When I lost that fight, they sickeningly took ownership of my body. They made me one of their victims.
If they were mine, if I ever had any control over them I would make sure they can’t rape anyone else. Unless I win this fight I don’t want anything to do with them. Unless I can prove that they made me their victim and a judge gives me the power to influence their future, no part of them is mine and I don’t want it to be.
Until then, they’re free to be anyone’s rapists.