By Electra Rose
I am a fragile rose and my head is a broken balloon
I am a fragile rose-
my petals have been crushed
By cruel hands and words-
They lie dead on the floor.
I am told to hush hush-
Denial that my head is a broken balloon.
Collecting remnants of my troubled rose
Is halted each moment that I froze
In fright-
I thought someone was hurting me again that night.
Boys Will Be Boys
Shocked, confused,
ashamed.
No amusement
At the strike of embers.
Twelve and no reaction to their toot;
Insignificance of harassing shouts and toots.
Summer lesson
Of the place of women;
Men may whistle, shout and toot
But to women it’s all a hoot.
Pretend you aren’t burnt
by the embers
As they’re only embers.
Shrug it off;
That’s just how it is.
We all learn;
Boys will boys.
Fourteen and at a school dance
After a glance
A boy puts his hand up my skirt-
I didn’t even flirt.
I stop him and pretend I’m not burnt by the embers
As they’re just embers.
Shrug it off;
That’s just how it is,
We all learn;
Boys will be boys
I’m eighteen and seriously sexually assaulted,
I didn’t view it as assault.
When you try not to remember
When the embers
Hit you
You think nothing of the flames
When they burn you.
Shrug it off;
That’s just how it is,
We all learn;
Boys will be boys.
Society taught me women are dolls for men to play with.
I thought it was okay for them to play with me,
To tug my hair without my consent.
We need to stop normalising verbal sexual abuse
If we want to stop viewing physical sexual abuse
As inevitable
And trivial.
Embers are the start of a flame.
You shredded my soul
You shredded my heart, soul and body
And unvaryingly left
My broken paper on the floor
With your forceful, unwanted violation.
A revelation-
I’m not really okay
As my heart is sobbing inside,
My soul is crying for life,
For hope I will stop half dying inside
And move on with my life.
I can’t and won’t let you defeat me-
I am a warrior and I will keep fighting until the end.
I wish I never made you art
I wish I never made you art
Because you shattered me-
You violated me with your dart.
How dare you spoil me
And break my heart.
The Ultimate Betrayal
Betrayal when you broke down my bedroom door
Without my consent.
You left my sky blue crystal eyes
Disorientated, confused, overwhelmed.
Uncertainty clouded my mind
As I walked through my maze inside.
As the days went by
My uncertainty disappeared-
Denial phase was over-
I was raped.
Now I must get out of my maze
And it will take time
But I am like a rose-
Both strong and fragile.
They never plucked my petals,
They just bruised me.
My strength will save me from despair.
Forceful Night
Acceptance shrouded my sky in dark black clouds.
Gone is my sapphire sky-
Now all that exists is night.
The night he forefully gave me against my will.
How will I ever get day to return?
Stockholm Syndrome
That very first day our eyes first met
I had to talk to you,
I showed you the way
So you didn’t go astray.
The truth is that I have never been as forward with anyone,
That night when I said “we should revise French together”.
Except I was too drunk to know what I was saying
And I never thought I liked you
Later I wanted to talk to you more but I became shy every time
lost the will to speak,
Didn’t know what to say
I think now it is because of
What you did to me,
I just thought I liked you.
I wonder if you know
My mouth hurt the day after.
I can’t believe I wanted to have sex,
Watch a French film and eat dinner.
With you
After what you did to me,
How you treated me.
Now I know what you did wasn’t right
You really gave me a fright
As I lay there wishing you to stop
To stop now
To stop kissing me so violently.
I thought you were like me
But just because you’re similar to me
Doesn’t excuse what you did
I felt the sexual tension in the air,
noticed when you arranged your hair
I just focused on that moment where you held me and I was glad
Because no one ever held me,
So I ignored when you made me feel bad,
I ignored the fact you committed digital rape,
That’s right in some states in America what you did is rape
And I told you, “please be more gentle, you’re hurting me”
When all I wanted to say was stop
But I was too intoxicated to say the word stop
Because I never wanted that to happen
And yet you hurt me again
And I had to say it again
And move your hand away
What you did to me was not okay
You took advantage of me
And used me for your own pleasure.
I am not a commodity to be used.
You shall not be excused
For what you did
It was not my fault
What you did was not okay
And I was too used to men taking advantage at every stage
When I was not in a state to know what was going on
And all I ever wanted was to be walked home
Or have a chat
I don’t know why I lied to myself and said I was like that
I am not like that
Now I know why I felt so confused in the morning
And asked myself “what happened?”
And decided to leave straight away
And didn’t want you to walk me home
And didn’t let you walk me all the way home
And didn’t want to text you
Because of what you did.
I now accept what you did.
I hope you realise what you did
Rape Is Murder
Virginal rape is murder of innocence.
Rape is murder of the body,
Rape is murder of the sexuality,
Rape is murder of the soul,
Rape is murder of the heart.
Picking the petals of roses
Without the consent of the beautiful rose is sexual assault.
Ripping the head of a rose off unlawfully is rape.