Rape isn’t about Sex, It’s About Violence

Anonymous

“What hurts me the most is knowing the person who raped me had done it intentionally. He was aware of me not wanting to have sex with him. He hung around with most of my friends, he wanted to befriend me and I told him if he wanted to be friend with me he needed to stop being creepy toward me and making it clear that he wanted to sleep with me. I made it clear to him that “I will never fuck you, you will never fuck me, nothing like that will happen, you have a girlfriend”.

I believe that not just any guy, but any human would back off when someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. Even when you tell a dog to keep away from you, the dog will do so. The day he raped me, just 3 hours earlier I told him the same thing again “I will never fuck you, you will never fuck me, nothing like that will happen, plus you have a girlfriend” and I told him to stay away from me.

After it happened, I was confused. How is it even possible for me not to know what happened? I remember going to bed and waking up, but I don’t recall giving him consent to do that. I didn’t invite him to my room. I am still confused today. I found what he did to me because he sent me a Snapchat message to tell me what he did to me. I cried and still crying right now, because he raped me to hurt me for the rest of my life. 
He raped me to prove me the opposite of what I said to him. He raped because I rejected him, confronted him and he would have still raped even if I didn’t say anything to him.

“I found out what he did to me because he sent me a Snapchat message…he raped me”

Before I used to think that rape was about sex, that rapists raped because they were desperate. And what happened to me made me realise rape isn’t about sex, it’s more about violence, power, control and humiliation. If my rapist was that desperate to have sex, and I said NO when he asked so many times he could have probably backed off and asked someone else who was willing to have sex with him. But he didn’t back off when I said NO so many times. Instead, he raped me while I was unconscious in my bed.
All that I want is for him to give me an explanation of why he did that. But I know that I will never get the answer of what I am looking for.”